SH3 Hash Trash
Hash Date: 11
December 2003
Scribe: Nuclear
Seaman
Yours truly missed the last hash (18 November) (or did I???). No one stepped up to the computer (yes, the modern age is taking over sacred catch phrases) and pecked out a summary of events. Thus, the guilty were never convicted as no record of their infractions was kept!!! Let that be a lesson to all - the computer is mightier than the down-down.
Hashing is moving along in Socorro with the 8th hash of the fledgling SH3. It looked like a thin crowd as initially only 3 brave souls arrived at the Socorro Springs Brewery for the Little Red Dress Hash. Only real men can go in drag! I, Nuclear Seaman (by the way - for those wanting a new perspective, change the spelling of the last word), arrived first to the stares (and compliments) of many to find no one else had yet arrived; and I thought I was late! Fortunately, I am secure in my manhood (and knew enough people in the crowd) to pull it off (give me a break – I kept the dress on!) in style. Virtual Clinton, hare for a day, soon followed with Virgin Dave (Father Snowball’s ex-roommate) not far behind. And that was IT until Justs Ephraim & Julie arrived (within the 15 minute “OK” period). So, it appeared that the hash would be a bit of a bust with 1 hare & 4 hounds (although it was a bit “bustier” than usual). Finally, LJBJQ and Father Snowball arrived (fashionably late). Hey, Father, were you hoping that, if you arrived late enough, we’d be gone and you wouldn’t have to put on the dress and walk back through the bar? And lastly (but definitely not “leastly”) Religious Adviser Papa Don’t Preach arrived. A quorum was called and the hare proceeded to lay trail. You’d think that, with a 10PM curfew, Papa Don’t Preach would arrive a bit more on time. Papa, though, had the cutest little minidress. It was so revealing in back where it couldn’t be zipped all the way (Just Julie – nice comment on the pleasures of zipping up Just Ephraim (oh-la-la)). The obligatory 15-minute hare’s head start ended with Papa Don’t Preach’s chalk talk to a quickly chilling pack on the corner in front of the Brewery.
Papa checked the initial trail marks and found they were sugar (it’s hard to sing Shitty Trail when it’s sweet!). Chalk one up for the hare. As the pack followed the trail along California Avenue, the public went wild. Obviously, there aren’t enough drag queens in Socorro or nobody would have honked their horns. Fame was lost on the pursuing hounds who feared a muzzle flash. The trail led to the first BN at the abode of Virtual Clinton (thanks to the sharp eye of Nuclear Seaman for seeing the BN in the window). Going through the window (adding to the single-track atmosphere of the house) and after a quick down-down by all, the pack was off in pursuit of the hare. A tour through the NM Tech campus resulted from a clever back check, from which Nuclear Seaman picked up true trail. The pack picked up part of the crowd, Virgin Scott, in front of the gym (a real first in this hasher’s experience) who continued with us to the end. The trail headed north and made an excursion into the wild (a turkey/eagle split where all wanted to be eagles). Whose bright idea was it that it would be a nearly full moon and bright out? The moon didn’t come up until the end of the hash and it was cloudy besides! Shiggy in the dark borders on cruelty to animals (they call it “the pack” for a reason). After dodging prickly pear, cholla, and mesquite (or not as the case might have been) in the dark, the pack found smoother trail only to get stymied at the final check. Papa Don’t Preach made the final determination and all proceeded to a house across the street from the State Representative’s for the final BN. Indulging the hostess (Virtual Clinton – tell her thank you from all of us), a rousing rendition of Shitty Trail was sung and the hare was roasted for his efforts. Virtual Clinton admitted to watching the pack pass by and marking a true trail through a previous false trail mark – WELL DONE! He almost got caught, though, as the pack had gained Virgin Scott and confused him with its number. To facilitate a return to the Brewery, everyone climbed into Virtual Clinton’s van.
Religion was short as most everyone was starving (it was about 9:30 PM after all). Virgins Dave and Scott were “Justed.” Just Dave was toasted on stopping to hash with us as he was passing through on his way to California (Papa’s old stomping ground) and then back to Texas (where he recently streaked a high school football game – bad move, man, bad move – if they’d caught you …). LJBJQ was given a warm sendoff as she is headed to Sacramento, CA, to work (and leaving Socorro permanently). LJBJQ, we hope your hash moniker produces the “desired” effects (you asked for it – remember??!!!). Father Snowball, who will you “come” with now? Father Snowball was made to down-down as he violated tradition by NOT wearing any R___ gear (damned if you do and damned if you don’t!). Justs Ephraim and Julie unwittingly provided fodder for hash names (just two more to go – heh, heh). Just Scott promised a return visit. And Papa was late (more next time on the outcome of violating curfew).
Next hash
date TBD (likely 2nd week in January), starting Volume 2 of the Hash
Trash. Happy trails to ya’ll &
Merry Christmas!!!